Twisted Advice
by mmooch
Summary: We all have heard the advice, but not in these contexts. *Open to other authors; just PM me with your work and I'll post it with your name or post your link if you prefer.*
1. Generated

**Twisted Advice**

Summary: We all have heard the advice, but not in these contexts.

Timeline: post-_'Chosen'_; not comic compliant.

Warning: Pretty much just crackficlets.

A/N: This is open to anyone interested in trying their own version. They don't have to be connected with other versions.

Thanks to my betas: Why make them suffer ahead of time?

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

* * *

**Generated**

**Fargo, ND**

The Scoobies were busy setting up the latest Slayer safe house in Fargo, North Dakota. It had an unusually high population of weather demons which plagued the region. And that was on top of the nearly inhospitable _regular_ weather the locals endured.

Everyone gathered their assigned tasks from Giles with minimal complaints…except Dawn – who had insisted on being treated like an adult now that she turned 18.

"Why do I get stuck with having to go to the hardware store? Xander's the carpenter guy…he should go!" she protested.

Taking a moment to calm himself, Giles replied firmly, "Xander has other duties to attend to."

"But it's so boring!"

"Listen, Dawn…" Buffy interjected on her Watcher's behalf, "The winters here can be deadly, so this is really important. We got the largest generator the store had, but it requires propane to fuel it. It's your job to get the propane."

Xander looked almost gleeful as he added something he had obviously been sitting on for a long time, "With great power comes great responsibility!" He snickered for a second until he realized everyone was looking at him strangely. "C'mon! Get it? Generator…power…"

"Please get the propane before he continues," Giles pleaded.

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A/N: Hopefully that was as funny to others as it was in my head. Oh, and I don't own the quote; it was from Spiderman, who's owned by Marvel Comics and Stan Lee…I think.


	2. On Sale

**On Sale**

Timeline: just before year 3.

Warning: still just crackficlets.

A/N: This is open to anyone interested in trying their own version. They don't have to be connected with other versions.

Thanks to my betas: Why make them suffer ahead of time?

Disclaimer: HP characters belong to JK Rowling. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

* * *

**Magical Menagerie**

The Golden Trio tried to ignore the smell from the animals as they searched for a pet for Hermione. An owl was pretty much useless since her parents were non-magical and an owl flying in and out of their house would stand out pretty bad. For the same reason, any of the exotic animals were out as well.

Just as Hermione happened upon a cranky cat-type creature called a kneazle – or in this case, half-kneazle – the owner came rushing up to them, jabbering in a language none of them could understand. He pointed to the animal, said something and gestured over his shoulder, then looked expectantly at them.

"Do you know what he's saying?" Ron asked Hermoine.

"Not really, but I think he wants me to buy that cat/kneazle," she guessed. When she picked it up, the man smiled widely, which seemed to indicate she was correct.

She paid for the animal and the supplies necessary to care for it. Before she could leave, the man handed her an extra box. Carefully, Hermione glanced inside to find two creatures that looked like wisps of smoke.

"I didn't buy these," she protested.

The man just repeated his earlier words insistently and waved his hands to dismiss them.

"It'd be nice if we knew what he was saying," Harry commented.

Just then a young woman came from the back room and listened to the man repeat his words again. She translated for them, "He says, _'With Great Power comes Great Responsibility.'_"

The Trio replied in unison, "Huh?"

"The name of the half-kneazle you bought is 'Great Power', and my grandfather is so happy that it has finally allowed itself to be purchased that he gave you the free gift of two hinkypunks named 'Great' and 'Responsibility'."

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A/N: The quote is still from Spiderman, who's owned by Marvel Comics and Stan Lee…I think. Anyone else wanna try one?


End file.
